Art I like Information desk

You hear a bunch of beeps. Then, an electronic voice issues from one of the computers. Simultaneously, the response appears on the screen above the desk.

Thank you for letting the staff know. This problem will be rectified at a later date.

The receptionist seems doubtful.

• Ask another question.
• That... uh, computer is creepy.

A sense of resignation is evident from the person at the desk. "Then leave. It's not like I care."

• Say something else anyway.

Something makes a clunking sound in the distance. Then, an electronic voice issues from one of the computers. Simultaneously, the response appears on the screen above the desk.

That is correct. These are advanced replicas designed to ensure maximum viewer satisfaction.

• Ask another question.
• That... uh, computer is odd.
• Contact the owner.

You hear a harsh, irritating siren. Then, an electronic voice issues from one of the computers. Simultaneously, the response appears on the screen above the desk.

The staff of the gallery respectfully disagrees. if you have any concrete suggestions to make, feel free to contact the owner.

• Ask another question.
• That... uh, computer is unusual.
• Contact the owner.

An alarm sounds from a computer, followed by an harsh, artifical-sounding voice. Simultaneously, the response appears on the screen above the desk.

We've afraid the query cannot be understood. A human Homo sapiens sapiens will be there to assist you shortly.

The person behind the desk rises from a stupor. "You, err, just click the map to go somewhere. Though you should already know that if you've here. The top left corner of the second - well actually, it's the top centre bit of the first floor now - is an exit. Hope that helps."

• Ask another question.
• That... uh, computer is strange.

The computers behind the reception hum for a bit. Then, one of them starts to say something in a stilted, robotic manner. Simultaneously, the response appears on the screen above the desk. The person behind it rolls their eyes.

This building does not contain a café. Neither does it have a restaurant, juice bar, pub, food cart, food court, vending machine, sandwich bar, convenience store, sushi bar, regular bar, or other repository of food. This is part of an effort to promote healthy living by the staff of the gallery.

• Ask another question.
• That... uh, computer is annoying.

You hear several clicks behind the receptionist. Then, an electronic voice issues from one of the computers. Simultaneously, the response appears on the screen above the desk.

There are bathrooms on your current location, the ground floor. They are adjacent to the left side of the entrance.

• Ask another question.
• That... uh, computer is irritating.

You hear a whirring sound. Then, an electronic voice issues from one of the computers. Simultaneously, the response appears on the screen above the desk.

Tickets cannot be purchased. Admission to this gallery is free.

• Ask another question.
• That... uh, computer is freaky.

"I'm afraid it's against..."

Having a human being -Homo sapiens sapiens- perform the duties of this advanced computing device is strictly and expressly against museum policy, unless it is a query that falls outside range -0x67a2fe-. Unfortunately, the capabilities of H. s. sapiens are easily surpassed by many computers. Therefore, this policy has been instituted to increase response satisfaction.

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The desk attendant looks even more bedraggled. They respond with a sigh.

"I know."

• Ask another question.
• Can I have a human answer me, then?